HOPE can CHANGE Your Direction

/in /by

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and often writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is, with what he hoped to make it.”-J.M Barrie

Dead end, no outlet

Have you been intending to create a “new” you for some time, but just cannot seem to find the time or the motivation to do something about it? I’m sure you are familiar with the old saying about the road of good intentions. Throughout the course of your journey, that is one road you can’t afford to venture down. There is a flashing neon sign located at its starting point which does its best to deter you. For this way is the path littered in abundance with the fearful, the procrastinators, and the broken down. Many travelers with the best of intentions figure this detour might be a temporary rest stop. Some may not even realize at first that they have made a wrong turn. But this trip is headed down a one-way street to nowhere, hurling its unsuspecting visitors onto a fast track to getting off track. Though returning is always an option, most who end up here find a quick U-turn almost impossible to navigate.

Recently, a participant in a health and wellness seminar I was privileged to conduct, questioned his ability to bring to pass lasting changes in his life, or in a sense, re-write his personal story. Given his family’s history of serious health problems for several generations, his ongoing struggles to overcome his own, and the confusing and quite often contradicting information concerning the best method to produce a much desired change, he simply asked if he was beyond hope. “Where there is no hope there can be no endeavor.”-Samuel Johnson

As I looked around the room, my mind opened and showed me the faces of countless people who had expressed the very same sentiments to me over the years. In those brief seconds, my heart swelled with compassion. I knew that I must do everything that I could to lift up this downtrodden individual. I desired to rekindle the hope within him, to enlarge his vision of his personal potential in order that he might feel an increase in the courage needed to continue his journey. I realized in that moment of reflection all who were gathered had heard the same clarion call, the call to learn to change, to grow, and to progress. Each of them wished to find a degree of happiness they’d never known before by coming unto a simpler, healthier, optimistic way of living.

There is not one whose physical being is ever completely beyond repair; not a single one whose past destructive habits cannot be cast away; not one who has been touched with sorrow or grief or frustration who can’t soon feel some degree of relief, joy, and jubilation.

I shared with the assembly a creed which I had committed to memory. “I Choose…to live by choice, not by chance, to be motivated, not manipulated, to be useful, not used, to make changes, not excuses, to excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.”-unknown author It is a very serious responsibility to look within yourself and assess the depths of your convictions and the truth of your conduct. For what grand purpose are you desiring a transformation of your physical appearance? Do you believe in yourself, even just a little? Do you believe in the infinite power of hope? You’ve done some things over and over again and yet have not been able to produce a different result. You are not insane. But are you afraid of trying something brand new, something completely different, something more challenging and uncomfortable? Can you clearly identify the pattern of your mistakes? Can you forgive yourself ? Are you willing to accept the reality that all things will not be within your power to control? Will you embrace your personal duty to do your absolute best? Are you sufficiently humble to understand that you can in no way proceed without assistance? Are you ready to make your changes visible to the world? Do you know that it will be impossible to hide the “better way” of life that you may choose? Do you know that others may hurl obstacles taking the form of hatred, jealousy, and temptation your way as your conversion to a newness of life begins? Are you willing to do this even with the foreknowledge that your physical transformation will not be lasting? I encourage you to honestly search and ponder for the answers to these questions. To the gentleman at the seminar and to you, I promise that no one is a hopeless case. You can become a new man or woman, full of good health and enriched with hope.

“Those who stand in the threshold of life, always waiting for the right time to change are like the man who stands at the bank of a river waiting for the water to pass so he can cross on dry land. Today is the day of decision.”-Joseph B. Wirthlin

So, the warning is obvious. If you choose to indulge in further procrastination, you will most assuredly come to a crossroad, even the “road of good intentions”. It matters not whether your choice to delay was born of sheer fatigue with your journey, mere laziness, fear of failure, or clear complacency. You run the risk of condemning yourself to this awful state: you cannot do the thing you most desire for you have run out of time. Don’t let this happen to you. Set your alarm clock for now. Give thanks that you have this very moment to decide that hope can propel you to change.

photo credit: rustman via photopin cc

Are We There Yet?

/in /by
Congratulations!
With a helping hand, you have just stepped up the intensity of your workouts. I must say that I am truly kids in a carimpressed!  This portion of the journey may lead you to previously untraveled territory in your quest for improving both your physical and mental state of being. Yes, this is certainly new. Yes, this is definitely difficult. Yes, the bar has been set high, but your expectations are that nothing short of your desired goal will be acceptable. You are, even now, making great strides as you tackle the tough incline on the treadmill or the increased resistance on the elliptical trainer. I see you progressing workout by workout. Those cute, little pink and green dumbbells stay in their place. You no longer pay any attention to them, because your weight training requires a greater, less colorful challenge. You do magnificently as you huff and puff and sweat and lift your way through each grueling session. I think you have finally realized that transformation is not a cheap experience. You must pay the steep price of sacrificing both your will and your body.

 

I do have a question for you, though. Please don’t misinterpret my inquiry. Are you sitting down? No, of course, you are not. You’re exercising. Nevertheless, I do desire to know why you keep asking me when you will arrive at your destination? Hey, look over, I am not behind the steering wheel. You are. And don’t forget, this is a journey and I am merely your humble tour guide for a very small portion of it. I am not screaming at you telling you that you are in the wrong lane. I am not shattering your ear drums with bellowing commands to turn right here and then left there. I am only that still, small voice in your head saying you are on the straight and narrow path. Just keep going. I am that one clear voice whispering to you truths which you have always known. I will never lead you astray. But, remember this, I cannot do the driving for you. Never. It is not part of the plan. I am in charge of my own journey. Just because you perceive that I can drive with no hands on the wheel, which, by the way, could not be further from reality, does not mean I’m going to grab your controls. Even if I wanted to do so to help you even more, I am not permitted. I would be sited for the most egregious violation. I would be depriving you from making the choices that you must make for yourself.

 

So, let me be completely honest. I am not belittling you when I offer the following analogy in order that you might more clearly see what precisely you are projecting by your constant questioning. Imagine yourself as a child again. Your dad and mom are taking you and your siblings to your favorite park, or restaurant, or to grandpa and grandma’s house. You are excited beyond measure. Your parents are so happy that you are along for the ride. No sooner than your parent’s car has pulled out of the driveway from your house, you begin asking that wonderful question, which is music to mom and dad’s ears, “Are we there yet?” Dad laughs, “No, my precious, little ones, we have only just begun the journey.” Only a short time has elapsed, and now from the back seats comes the same hopeful pleading.  “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” “No, no, we are not there my children, but, soon,” Dad responds. This is not exactly the first trip you’ve taken.  Never before had you not arrived safely. Maybe you had gotten lost once or twice with dad driving, though only momentarily, but you trusted your parents had not forgotten the way. Mom probably quotedMandy Hale, “You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner. So, relax, breathe, and be patient.” Both mom and dad sounded reassuring. Yet, in your childhood enthusiasm to enjoy yourselves somewhere other than where you were stuck, in the vehicle, you couldn’t help but cry out, “Are we there yet?” Does this sound all too familiar? Of course, it does. How does it relate to you, today?

 

Well, here are a few things you need to take away from the analogy. First of all, be grateful for your parents. They were the absolute best individual teachers and personal trainers you will ever have. They loved you like no other person you will ever encounter could. Second, the lessons learned through your family training sessions in your youth are still very much applicable today. In your childhood, you had this idea that after you were all loaded up in the family car, you should be immediately transported to another place . So, quite frequently, due to impatience, you didn’t enjoy the journey. As a mature, intelligent adult, one might think that things have changed considerably. The problem remains the same. Instead of piling into the car, today you are hopping on the piece of cardio equipment. You still expect an instantaneous solution to your challenge.  There is no portal to some point in your future when you have pre-determined that you will find the happiness which seems to elude you in the present.

 

“The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”-Henri Nouwen  You are on the cusp of something great. Learn to trust once again. You did as a child. You can do so now. I ask you to stop listening to the many discordant voices beckoning you from every direction. You will only become lost if you choose to make this journey more confusing than it has to be. It is natural to experience times when we doubt that we can make the journey’s end. It is completely appropriate to ask questions in order that you might acquire knowledge. It is not productive anymore to ask, “Am I there yet?”.  You are here now. Enjoy it. In fact, love it. You will find the answer to your four word question.  I might not be around when that occurs.  I wish you all the best in the process of discovering it.  For now, remember when your dad finally lost his cool on the way to your grandparent’s house. He said something to the effect of “Be quiet and stop hitting your brother!”  Along a similar train of thought, Alexander Dumas once said, “All human wisdom is summed up in two words-wait and hope.” I know you’ll understand my final thought to you this day. Be still and keep moving!

 

photo credit: Olaf via photopin cc

Numbers, Numbers

/in /by

There are a variety of numbers which you need to be aware of in some manner or another.  You may commit some numbers to memory. Others you may record. You have cell phone numbers, credit card numbers, driver’s license numbers, and Personal Identification Numbers, house or apartment numbers, numbers representing special dates like birthdays or anniversaries, zip codes, and computer codes just to name a few. Some people absolutely love numbers. Statisticians, mathematicians, scientists, meteorologists, financial advisors, and accountants, for example. Perhaps, you are not exactly a big fan of numbers. You might feel the only need you have for keeping track of numbers relates to balancing your personal checkbook or adding up your golf score.

Nevertheless, how you react to certain numbers is always fascinating. Some numbers make you feel happy, sad, anxious, excited, frustrated, or depressed when you see them. Just face it, you cannot avoid them. You watch numbers on the clock all day long. From your morning wake-up time, to class time, to work time, to break time, to meeting time, to “quitting” time, to game time, and to show time, your day always revolves around numbers. If you turn on your radio, television, or computer you are bombarded with numbers. You hear everything from numbers involving stock prices to gasoline prices, to numbers indicating high and low temperatures for your local area, to lottery numbers, and the never ending flow of numbers from sports scores and various polls. There are poll numbers for just about anything you can think of.  Some people regurgitate poll numbers faster than we can possibly digest them.

So, I offer you a taste of my own survey to amass some polling numbers. What number of you exercise 3-5 days per week for 30-60 minutes? What number of you would identify red, black, white, or blue as your favorite color to wear during exercise? What number of you have a workout partner or personal trainer? What number of you have a gym or health club membership that you have not used in the past 6 months? What number of you prefer to exercise in the morning? What number of you don’t think playing golf is a workout? What number of you skip exercise to view the number one rated sitcom on T.V? What number of you define yourselves by a number? What specific number could I be referring to?

Well, it is neither your I.Q. nor the number of dollars sitting in your savings account. No, this particular figure is almost branded on the front and back of your body like your favorite athlete’s jersey number or a tattoo you wish you could have removed. I’ll give you a clue. How many of you step on a scale multiple times throughout the course of a day? You guessed it. The answer is that scalesometimes annoying, ever present, and perhaps, never changing number that you recognize as your weight. Have you ever considered the weight of this problem? I have pondered it. In my vast experience as a fitness professional, I have counseled many individuals who, like you, are stuck on a number. You’ve developed an addictive habit in which you cannot wait to check your body weight? I understand how it works. You jump on the scale before, during, and after you exercise. Perhaps you have a scale next to your bed, one in the bathroom, and one by the front door. It’s just another number. But not to you. You literally think that you are defined by that number.

Well, I am here to tell you emphatically that you are not! I don’t know the depths of your struggles, nor the specific details in your case, but I know it has not been easy for you. I believe that everything can change for you. But it will not occur while you are standing on that scale or because of the fact that you are obsessively monitoring your weight.  I believe in miracles! I have seen them in my own life and in the lives of so many people I have encountered. “Most of us have two lives; the life we live and the unlived life within us.”-Steven Pressfield

Please don’t let that number hold you back from enjoying your spouse, your family, your friends, indeed, your very life. Your days on this earth are numbered. That number is not one you can possibly ever know.  If somehow a number on a scale makes you feel unimportant, unattractive, or unworthy of attaining blessings, please do not procrastinate. With all of the genuine concern of my heart, I offer the following advice. Stop standing there!   “You don’t need an invitation before you start moving in the direction of your righteous goals. You don’t need to wait for permission to become the person you were designed to be.”-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

That special person is so much more than a number. I don’t judge you. Please do not be so hard on yourself. “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and before you know it, you’re doing the impossible!”-unknown  You don’t need that number to change dramatically before you begin to permanently change your world. Weighing yourself every day is not a necessary or crucial part of your personal fitness journey. Drop the scale from your life and you will be free to live.

So, what’s your favorite number?

photo credit: KRob2005 via photopin cc

Practice? Are you talking about practice?

/in /by

Why is practicing golf so much fun? Don’t laugh! I pose a very serious question to you. So, you really don’t know the answer? Don’t throw the classic Allen Iverson rant at me, because I am, indeed, talking about PRACTICE! Let me explain why I love practice time and you should as well. My passion for the game of golf is not limited to the awe and wonder I feel as I behold the scenic beauty found on many courses, or the amazing, fun-filled camaraderie among friends displayed during a round, or the awesome challenge of playing each and every golf hole to the best of my ability, or even the applause from my own personal gallery when the last putt has dropped and the final tally is registered on the scorecard. No, I can also derive a great deal of satisfaction from simply chipping, putting, and hitting balls at a practice facility without feeling the need the head to the nearest course. This is made possible due to several factors.

At a practice facility, there are no pace of play issues. So, instead of having to practice patience, I need only practice my game. Driving range golf allows me the opportunity to “play” without having to wait for the group ahead to emerge from the woods and clear the fairway or the green. My length of stay at the range is not determined by anyone but me. I can spend twenty minutes with Driving Rangea single bucket of balls or an hour and twenty minutes with multiple buckets. Due to the fact that there is such a significant difference in the total time commitment, I am a tremendous advocate for range time. For those of us who lead very busy lives, the question “to golf or not to golf?” races through our heads quite often. Honestly, the solution is quite clear to me. The reality is that a round of golf can take a big bite out of both one’s day and wallet. To become an active player in this sport without compromising family, work, and other responsibilities and depleting your children’s college fund, I recommend that you consider the inherent advantages of making your investment in golf at the range. I continue to read reports regarding the declining number of participants across the country in all age groups. This trend does not need to continue in its current direction.

At a practice facility, it is extremely easy to develop a great rhythm and maintain it for the duration of my session. No pressure to speed up from the group behind bombarding you constantly with tee shots and inappropriate verbal shots, nor the frustration of coming to a screeching halt due to a twenty four cart pile-up on the seventh fairway, means you can stay in the “groove”. Whether it’s working on wedge play or smooth swinging with fairway metals and the driver, I love every minute in the golfer-friendly environment. Yes, road rage occurs on the course. I relish the chance to set the pace of play while I practice and avoid the dangerous antics of others golfing under the influence of selfishness.

The feeling of hitting shot after shot pure is the highlight of my experience. On the golf course, I strive for excellence. At the range, I have found that I actually can approach perfection. On the course, even in my best rounds, the reality is that I may strike a handful of golf shots which come off perfectly. After one such shot, I have been known to announce, “I can go home now because it cannot get any better than that!” At the driving range that unbelievable “go home” moment is easily repeatable. I know that I can hit the next one just as good or better and so can you. When you practice, I suggest that you use your imagination. Your mind has the incredible capability to create a golf course computer simulation between your ears. “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti You can transform the most boring driving range landscape into your favorite course. On occasion, you can approach your practice just like a normal round of golf. Instead of simply pounding the same club over and over again, alternate clubs just as you would be on the links. Play out that round on the course you have programmed in your brain. The level of difficulty is up to your individual creativity. But, nothing should stop you from playing your absolute best. I personally don’t think it is possible to have a bad session at the range. On the course, however, anything can happen. I have both seen and participated in what I refer to as “the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”, a.k.a., Clint Eastwood golf. The moments of agony and ecstasy make golf an incredible game like no other. When I want to completely avoid any possibility of the mental and emotional roller coaster ride that a round can become, I just take my clubs to the range. There I find peace and calm through my routine and repetition. There is no pressure that I place on myself to perform. That in itself may be a reason for my success and consequently my passion for practice. I am never again going to have the time to play 18 holes nearly every day of the week as I did when I worked as an assistant golf professional. So, although I don’t regularly score as low as I used to, my practice is much more productive and fun than ever before. I never used to look at practice in the manner that I currently do. Perhaps, you can alter your view of it as well and embrace the inherent advantages of working on your golf game at the range. These days, I do cherish the few opportunities which arise to join my family, friends, and students on the course. There are times, however, when that actually feels like work. Again, I have concluded that is the case because there are so many factors which are out of my control on the golf course.

I am looking forward to the late summer and beautiful autumn nights when I can practice at the driving range. Hitting balls under the lights is really unique. What a different environment! Watching the little white golf balls pierce the night sky is, frankly, just plain cool! So, what are you waiting for? It is time to play at the range.

photo credit: camflan via photopin cc

Quitting is not an Option

/in /by

When your journey toward improved health and wellness leads you down a pathway which takes an abrupt and cruel turn, there is a powerful temptation to think, “Why me?”  While you are striving to reach a perfectly reasonable goal, it appears that all of the forces in the entire universe have combined to work against your efforts. I’m sure that you may think it’s strange that others who have been engaged in the same personal battle have appeared to emerge not only unscathed but also reborn. Your focus may waver. You might temporarily forget to count your many blessings. Instead, you count how many things have gone wrong with your plan and multiply that by the numerous times  you’ve  been inflicted with the deadly disease of doubt. “Why me?” you scream from the rooftops. You wish you could trade in your body for an improved version. If only you could order that new body online, then almost no one would know that you gave up on yourself and were seduced by a “quick fix”. You have become fixated on your frustrationflaws, perceived shortcomings, and the negatives in your life. You are, however, quite wrong about yourself and others for that matter. “If we were all to bring our misfortunes into a common store, so that each person should receive an equal share in the distribution, the majority would be glad to take up their own and depart.”-Socrates  A common practice, even among seasoned exercise participants, is that of self-incrimination. This, in spite of the fact, that in some instances you have had little or no control over the physical, mental, or emotional difficulty you now face.  Certainly, you cannot discern the light at the end of the long, torturous tunnel through which your journey has entered. Seeing with a bright lens of eternal optimism through that mist of darkness which you travel would seem to you to be pointless, even ludicrous. Unfortunately, your desperate response, the “why me syndrome”, has made your predicament even worse. Your natural inclination is to view your individual adversity through the cloudy, distorted prism called pessimism.  With you rides an unwanted companion, the extra pounds that trouble you to your very core. Their heavy burden is dragging you through that tunnel and forcing you to haul the disappointment of shattered dreams, unrealized expectations, the despair of vanished hopes, and even the pain of a broken heart.  The weight of your trouble seems as if it will last forever. To add to your grief, you may even face ridicule and seemingly unbearable criticism from others. Perhaps, your body just seems worn out or broken down. You are simply sick and tired of being sick and tired!

My dear friend, do you think that it is unfair that you must go through the challenges you currently face? Well, it is my desire that you should not let these things trouble you any longer. It is my desire that your journey lead you to a more abundant life where no tears, no fears, and no sorrow remain. I wish you to focus on the rescuing rays of each new day’s sunrise. The darkness will end. Quitting is not an option for you. Do not consider it for a moment. “You must become the rock the river cannot wash away.”-Unknown author  I am going to be honest with you. You may very well have to sweat out this particular challenge for a while yet. There might even be more repetitions required, as painful as that sounds. “You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine. Your destiny is not determined by the number of times you stumble, but by the number of times you stand up, dust yourself off, and stride forward.”-Dieter F. Uchtdorf  Despite the forecast of a potential reappearance, you can make it through the tests you face in that tunnel of personal misfortune, and reappear in the light of happiness and your true potential. The glorious feeling of attaining your goals is not only possible but probable! A healthier, stronger, fitter you is right before your very eyes. How is this attainable? You need only have the courage to believe in the promise. The promise to you is that the pieces of your life that have been lost or missing will be filled with peace. The promise is that you will not only cross your own personal finish line, but you will be filled with a new found desire to continue running. The promise to you is that your reward, the result of your steadfastness, your diligence, your determination, your hard work, will be worth any amount of despair, frustration, and disappointment you have been laden with.

“Life is full of twists and unexpected bumps, but the rough patches are meant to help us grow. When life is hard, remember, we are not the first to say, ‘Is there no other way?’.-Jeffrey R. Holland  To my students in the gym, I teach the principle of overload. This is the application of more resistance during an exercise than a particular muscle or group of muscles is used to. The purpose is simple: stimulating the development of strength. One definition of strength is the ability to exert muscle force against resistance force. It is most often measured as it relates to the amount of resistance that is overcome. For my students to notice any positive change in their bodies during training, their muscles must reach the point of complete exhaustion or momentary muscle fatigue. Notice that I used the term momentary. This type of fatigue is literally the point at which one can no longer perform even one more repetition of any exercise movement without compromising the good form that is necessary for safety. When you wake up tomorrow and are faced with opposition or resistance, understand that you are just like your muscles which must withstand some degree of pain in order that they might grow stronger. You desire change in your body shape and in your life in general. Well, there is a necessary requirement for your progress to be made manifest and your strength to be measured. By now, you know what it is. Your journey absolutely must take you through those tunnels wherein extremely intense struggles will occur. So intense must they be, that you will feel alone, abandoned in the darkness. So painful must your experiences be, that you will feel there will be no end to the pain and fatigue. But, alas, it too is only momentary! Your muscles recover from their trial and so will you.

“When things go wrong as they sometimes will; when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill; when the funds are low and the debts are high; and you want to smile but you have to sigh; when care is pressing you down a bit; rest if you must, but don’t you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns, as everyone of us sometimes learns; and many a failure turns about; when you might have won had you stuck it out. Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow. You may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned inside out; the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell how close you are; it may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit. It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.”-Edgar A. Guest

photo credit: dieselbug2007 via photopin cc